Why Temperament Counseling Works
Temperament counseling is an effective, organized method of counseling that often works when other counseling has not. It helps clients understand why they do the things they do, and addresses problems rather than symptoms. It is personal, focusing on the needs of the individual and how these needs can be met.
Our trained counselors follow a step-by-step procedure developed to target problems and bring immediate relief and long term solutions to each person's unique situation. Respectful of where all clients are spiritually, the Temperament process appropriately includes prayer and scriptural references.
So What Are Temperaments?
While your personality can change and adjust throughout your entire life and is affected by things like your age, life circumstances and people you are around, your Temperament remains virtually the same your entire life. It is the "thumbprint of your soul"; just like you received your unique and unchanging thumb print before you were born, you also received your unique temperament.
Your Temperament influences how you react to people, places and your environment, and Temperament counseling pinpoints your perception of yourself and the people around you. It is the determining factor in how well you cope with every day stress and pressure.
The ARNO Temperament profile identifies your specific temperament using a very simple yet powerful assessment. It only takes about 8 minutes to complete, yet helps to comprehend a lifetime. In short, there are five categories of temperaments and three focus areas and help you understand yourself on a deeper, more complete level.
The five categories help you understand what your approach to life generally is. While most people are a blend of Temperaments, here's a broad overview of each:
- Sanguine - Social and joyful
- Melancholy - Reflective and deep thinker
- Phlegmatic - Balanced and reserved
- Supine - Servant leader
- Choleric - Entrepreneurial visionary
The three focus areas further break down and specify your specific needs in each area:
- Social Inclusion - Indicates things like the number of relationships you need to maintain, the depth of relationship you desire and how that is perceived by others versus how much you actually want.
- Control - Indicates things like how much you desire to control circumstances and people around you, your capacity to be in control and how much control you desire over your life.
- Affirmation/Affection - Indicates things like how much affection you express to loved ones, how much you need to receive to feel valued versus how much you appear you need, and how much affirmation you need to receive for your contribution at work to feel valued.
Once you understand what your needs are, you can appreciate who you are at your core and understand that your needs are non-negotiable - meaning that you were wired to be the way you are, and no amount of trying to negotiate or attempting to be someone else will change that. You must accept who you are and that there is nothing wrong with who you are. Problems arise not because your Temperament is wrong, but because your needs are not being met, which creates dissonance in your life and can lead to tension, depression and conflict of all types.
Issues in our lives often stem from trying to live outside our Temperaments (often unknowingly), clashing with other Temperaments (because we see things from our point of view and must take the time to understand and appreciate that others approach life differently than us and that is OK) and not valuing our Temperaments (feeling there is something wrong with us because we aren't like "everyone else").
That seems to make sense... So how do I learn my Temperament?
Before your first appointment you will complete the ARNO Temperament assessment. Like we said, it should take you 8 minutes or less. We'll process it and have it ready at your first appointment, where your Counselor will walk you through it so that you begin understand it and its implications. The profile will also give recommendations on how to adjust your life, work, relationships, etc., in order to best live within your Temperament and have your non-negotiable needs met.
Great... But what I really need help with is _________ [insert immediate need regarding my job, my spouse, my kids, my coworker, etc, here]
All of our Counselors are trained and professional. Their desire is to help you live a healthy and satisfying life, and that includes helping you navigate through those areas. They just believe that it begins with understanding your Temperament which can help lead you to a deeper understanding of your current issue, and give you tools that lead to progress and resolution.
While our Counselors value every single one of their clients and seek to hear your story and understand you as a special and valuable individual, their ultimate goal is to help you move past your current issue. They could just buy a fancy couch and let you lay on it and talk for hours and hours, but you could use your couch and borrow your friend's goldfish for that. They value your time and your investment in your health, and they want to help you see the results you need as quickly as possible. That's why they utilize the ARNO Temperament tool and why that is where your journey will begin.